Murtagh’s Date
by Emberseve
Summary: Murtagh's on a date with a valley girl. They don't know where they are going, and Murtagh doesn’t know why he's on this date. Things go crazy, and Murtagh is dropped off bound in ropes.
1. In The Car

**Murtagh's Date**

**  
Chapter 1: In The Car**

"So you like totally don't know how to like drive one of these things?" asked Kaitlin.

"Uh… No, I don't." Replied Murtagh.

"LIKE OH MY GOSH! You were like serious!" Kaitlin said.

"…I guess so," "Oh, and can you do me a favor?" asked Murtagh.

"Like sure, what?" Kaitlin asked.

"Remind me why I followed through with…our…um…relationship?"

"Relationship? You know when guys start brining that up it usually means…"said Kaitlin

… _A couple seconds later…_

" You're, you're…"Mumbled Kaitlin.

"I'm what?" asked Murtagh.

" So you're…YOU'RE LIKE BREAKING UP WITH ME?" Kaitlin said in between sobs.

"Uh, what. WHAT? No-NO! Most DEFONITELY not!" "Although I wish that I could…" Murtagh said under his breath.

"What was that-" Kaitlin asked (still crying).

"Nothing!" Replied Murtagh.

"So…you aren't going to break up with me?" asked Kaitlin.

"I wouldn't dare to do so." answered Murtagh, while considering what might happen if he were to.

…_30 minutes later…_

"So where exactly are we going?" asked Murtagh.

" I don't know. You should like tell me, YOU'RE THE BOYFRIEND!" said Kaitlin.

"Ya! Well… You're-you're the one who's driving!" Shouted Murtagh.

"LIKE, SOME DATE!" "You don't even know where we're supposed to be going!" Yelled Kaitlin.

"I'll tell you this much…I'm planning on jumping out the window." Murtagh Whispered to himself.

"AND YOU KNOW WHAT! I'M SICK OF YOU HIDEING THINGS FROM ME!" Shouted Kaitlin.

"Damn, you're worse than my brother," "But I do give you the credit, for actually having the guts to say that to me." Said Murtagh.

"OH LIKE DON'T GIVE ME ANY OF THAT!" "You know what? I just thought of the perfect place to go!" Said Kaitlin.

"Where?" asked Murtagh.

"YOU'RE BROTHER'S DOORSTEP!" Shouted Kaitlin.

Murtagh started to laugh.

"Oh, help me! I'm scared now!" Murtagh said, sarcastically.

…_1 hour later…_

"YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU KNEW HOW TO GET TO ALAGAESIA!" Shouted a bounded wrist and ankle Murtagh.

"I've got my sources, Oh and by the way those ropes won't undo by magic, there magic-resistant." Said Kaitlin, as she walked away to leave Murtagh in the middle of Du Weldenvarden.

"Hey! HEY! I'm talking to you! You're not going to just leave me here! ARE YOU?" Shouted Murtagh.

" Oh like totally don't worry Murtagh, surely your brother will find you. Or I'll show up sooner or later…" Said Kaitlin, while getting into the car.

"WHAT!" Screamed Murtagh.

_Thorn please help me!_

_Sorry, Murtagh I'm on vacation right now._

"Perfect." Whispered Murtagh.


	2. To The Border! And then where I started…

Chapter 2: To The Border! And then where I started… 

**12: 25 am, Du Weldenvarden, near Ellesméra: **

"That stupid chick." Said Murtagh.

_Because of her I've got to crawl out of this wretched forest._

_Murtagh, I told you not to go outside Alagaesia._

_THORN!_

_Yes?_

_YOU LITTLE… Oh whatever, just stop lecturing me already!_

_What's the matter? Little Murtagh didn't like his first time in America?_

Murtagh grunted.

… _How did you meet that girl anyways? I like her._

_T-H-O-R-N!_

_I've got to go._

_THORN-HEY!_

_Man, why to people always leave me when I say hey!_

…_Maybe it's because hey is for horses, not people…or dragons._

_THORN!!!_

**2:27 am, Border of Du Weldenvarden, near Ceris:**

"I'm going to ask you one more time… What the heck are you doing here?"

"Oh I don't know, why don't you ask the pretty…and dumb…blonde that I met in the Hollywood club a couple nights ago?" "…I never knew blonde's could be such jerks." said Murtagh.

The elf that had Murtagh pined on a tree glared at him.

"…I'm b-l-o-n-d-e…" snarled the elf.

"…Oh…uh. Right…sorry about that." Said Murtagh.

"You know what. You're coming with me…we're going to have some fun." Said the elf, as he started dragging Murtagh with him.

"What a minute! You-you don't even like me! Oh and boy let me tell you, I sure hate you already!" said Murtagh.

The elf paused for a second and looked at Murtagh.

"Wow, now that makes the two of you, of course the other one and I get along much better now." The elf said.

"What? What do you mean by that?"

The elf stared laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" asked Murtagh.

"…Be-because you and your brother are so much alike! I wouldn't be surprised if you were twins!" The elf said in between laughs.

"Well we're not! And what's that have to do with me hateing you?" Murtagh asked.

The elf threw the, still bound with ropes, Murtagh on the ground.

"Ow…that hurt you know!" shouted Murtagh.

" I don't think we've officially met," The elf said as he bent down to untie the ropes that bound Murtagh.

"My name is Vanir, and of course I already know yours is Murtagh" said Vanir, as Murtagh got up and stretched.

"Nice to meet you," "Now I bet you can't think of, what I'm thinking" said Murtagh.

"You want to get out of here?" said Vanir.

"Wow, your good!" said Murtagh.

"Well, guess what!" said Vanir.

"What?" replied Murtagh.

"You're not going to!" Vanir said, as he knocked Murtagh out cold, with a fist.

…_**A couple minutes later…**_

"Yes…yes I know dear Murtagh, of how low that was of me to do," "But I think your brother might want you to pay a visit…funny, I found you out here instead of him." Vanir said to an unconscious Murtagh as he dragged him to Eragon's place.

**13BlacKAnGELs:** Thank you! Oh and I'm sorry that you didn't get to Murtagh before Vanir did…

**Anda Faith:** Thanks, and don't worry I plan on continuing! Oh and in the next chapter Murtagh will literally be on Eragon's Doorstep.

**Mythical Sorceress: **I think I might have answered your questions in this chapter, and yes, it is a shame that he was all tied up and all alone in the land of the elves. But with Vanir's company he'll be fine! Possibly…

- Emberseve.


	3. Triangles and Manicures

**Chapter 3: Triangles and Manicures**

"…Crap, I never knew you where this heavy!" said Vanir. Who was now dragging Murtagh up Eragon's places stairs.

"Finally!" Vanir said once he reached the Entrance.

When Vanir knocked on the door no one answered. He tried again and still no one answered. Finally he decided he'd just go in. When Vanir open the door he still had forgot he still had Murtagh in his hands and dropped him at the sight he saw.

"WOHA! WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING!" "ARYA!" shouted Vanir.

"I'm doing nothing…"Arya said as she continued to make out with Roran.

"Arya…I don't think you get it," "HE'S ENGADGED!" yelled Vanir.

"WHAT!" Arya shouted as she let go of Roran. "Why doesn't anyone tell me anything around here!" Arya said.

Roran was just about knocked out when Arya let go of him, so he wasn't able to hear the commotion.

As Vanir and Arya started arguing on how Arya is told nothing and why she was making out with Eragon's cousin, Murtagh woke up.

"…What the." "Uh… Sorry if I'm interrupting something…whatever it may be…but uh what's going on?" Murtagh asked, as he got up, and walked over to Vanir and Arya.

"OK, WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?" "Oh and since when do **_you _**say sorry?" asked Arya.

"Well excuse me, for my politeness-ness." Murtagh said sarcastically.

"Oh, and since when do say excuse me?" asked Arya.

"Since when do you ask so many questions?" Murtagh asked, as he cocked an eyebrow.

"…Since an insane man came walking in through his brother's door." Replied Arya.

"Alright the elf GOT TO GO!" Murtagh slightly yelled as he pointed his finger at Arya.

"Mmm…and I believe this is when the insanity comes in" said Arya.

"That's Mr. Insanity to you." Said a quite annoyed Murtagh.

" Oh, no that was your father." Said Arya.

"Well at least we agree on something." Said Murtagh.

" But I consider you as Mr. Insanity Jr." Said Arya.

"Why, thank you…your highness." Murtagh said, very annoyed.

"The only problem is…your father had a much better sense of humor than you." Said Arya.

"N-I-C-E. Wait! How-how…" said Murtagh, as Arya started blushing.

"Oh no… Arya! You made out with him too!" Yelled Vanir.

"Well.ya…" said Arya, now as red as a tomato.

Murtagh fell to the floor, laughing hysterically, while Vanir and Arya just stared at him.

When Murtagh got up and calmed down a little, he said, still smiling "…You are a very, very naughty little girl."

" Ha. Ya, and this is coming from his son." Said Arya.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Murtagh.

" What _it_ means is, that you are just as rotten as the scar on your back." Replied Arya.

"Oh no you didn't just mock the scar!" said Murtagh.

"Whatcha gonna do about it…cry to your baby brother?" asked Arya. " Oh Eragon I just got told by your girlfriend, Oh Eragon-" said Arya, and then cut off by Murtagh.

"OH, OH IT IS ON!" yelled Murtagh as he started to chase Arya.

As Arya stepped out of the place Murtagh went to shut the door on her, but when he did he heard Arya scream, and opened the door immediately.

"WHAT?" Murtagh asked Arya when he opened he door.

"…Like I think I broke a nail!" shouted Arya.

"So?" asked Murtagh.

"So, I like just got a manicure!" said Arya.

"Uh… You by any chance would be related to a girl named Kaitlin would you?" asked Murtagh.

"No, but I know one." Replied Arya, as she shut the door.

"Oh. Even better…" said Murtagh.

Just as Murtagh and Arya sat back down someone knocked at the door.


	4. Yo Ho, An Insane Life For Me…

**Chapter 4: Yo Ho, An Insane Life For Me…**

I'm hoping that most read the title of this chapter as a warning, because this chapter is going to get real crazy! What I mean is: Yo Ho is what pirate's say and like our famous pirate Captain Jack Sparrow, they get drunk. Also Murtagh's mind will be up in the clouds…again… So Beware. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Emberseve

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"I'll get it." Said Vanir.

"Yes-"

Just as Vanir was about to speak again Oromis came in on…on…Oh do you really want to know?

A motorcycle…

"WAZZ UP!" "…Uh are you guys alright?" asked Oromis, seeing that Murtagh, Vanir, and Arya where looking at him like he jumped off of a cliff…and he probably did.

"Hey, uh, how are you doing Vanir?" asked Murtagh, as he walked over to Vanir, still eyeing Oromis.

"Um…fine?" responded Vanir.

"Oh that's nice," "Hey, do you think you could do me a favor?" asked Murtagh.

"Sure…" said Vanir.

"…OH PLEASE JUST KILL ME NOW! PLEASE MAN, I BEG YOU! I THINK THAT I'M GOING INSANE!" said Murtagh, beginning to actually…yes, actually cry! Oh and at Vanir's feet holding Vanir's calves.

"I'll say," "Oh and uh. May I ask…why?" Asked a shocked Vanir.

"Gee, lets see. First I had the most horrible time of my life with an overly emotional girl, who practically chained me. And I've got a black eye…don't even say it!" yelled Murtagh, as he stood up.

"Wasn't going to." Said Vanir, smirking.

"Now I'm in Ellesméra with a guy (Murtagh points at Oromis) riding a motorcycle who thinks he's… I don't even know what he thinks he is! And I'm pretty sure I don't want to! How did you even get up the stairs… Just. Never mind!" shouted Murtagh.

Vanir leaned towards Murtagh, and Whispered, "… Don't worry this always happens when he's drunk…and now he's, um, well gone shipwreck…"

"Uh… You mean to tell me that…MY BROTHER WAS TRAINED BY A ELF WHO'S MORE INSANE THAN MY FATHER…I MEAN LOOK AT HIM! HE WAS DRIVING A MOTORCYCLE, DRUNK!" "Alright so my father got drunk a couple of times and gave me this scar, BIG DEAL! BUT THIS…THIS HAS GONE WAY TOO FAR!" shouted Murtagh.

"Hey! Your father had his… Moments!" shouted Oromis.

"Did I not say he gave me this scar?" asked Murtagh.

"Um, you might of mentioned it…" said Oromis.

"Um, I wouldn't normally say this but…I'M TAKEING ERAGON WITH ME AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!" Shouted Murtagh.

"Uh, _sweetie_…_honey _I don't know if you know this but... You would say that, or at least the evil Murtagh would say that. Oh by the way, what happen to him?" Said Arya.

"Whatever, Just… Don't ever call me those two things again, Ok?" asked Murtagh. "There reserved for my Mother…" Muttered Murtagh.

"Whatever." Replied Arya.

_Does he even know his mother's dead? _Thought Arya.

"…Hey Arya where is-Murtagh! Uh…did-did I miss something?" said Eragon coming from up the stairs.

"Unfortunately, yes…" said Arya.

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**Thank you for the reviews! I'll try to do my best on updating, I might continue to update every end of the week.**

**Emberseve **


	5. I Got Beat up By A Girl Again

**Murtagh's Date**

** It's been so long sense I have updated this story, and Now I'm actually updating it! Can you believe it!?! Well if you read my profile it should tell you the reason why I couldn't update any of my stories lately...I'm just too lazy to write the reason again... Anyways back to Murtagh's Date. I hope this is a funny enough chapter…I didn't think that it would be in the beginning but it changes very quickly…trust me… Oh, and I think I owe apologies for anyone who likes this story because I know how annoying it is to wait, and wait for a good story to be updated. So I'm VERY VERY SORRY.**

**- Emberseve**

**Chapter 5: I Got Beat-up By A Girl…Again…**

"Eragon! You're coming with me right now!" "I need to get you away from _them _as quick as possible!" "I mean, look at them! THEY COULD HAVE DISEASES!!!" shouted Murtagh, making his way to Eragon, who was still on the stairs and very confused.

"You better watch that screwed up mouth of yours boy." Arya said viscously.

"Oh, and primarily by that I mean the female with the pointy ears." Murtagh whispered to Eragon when he grabbed Eragon's arm and started to pull, but Eragon was as stiff as ice and wouldn't move.

"Hey!" "Don't you dare think I can't hear up there!" shouted Arya.

"Get off of me!" growled Eragon.

"Eragon!" "Come on! What the hell do think your doing!" asked Murtagh, still trying to pull Eragon. But Eragon started to fight back, by pounding Murtagh on the arm and shoulder.

"I said GET OFF!" yelled Eragon.

"HEY!!! I'm talking to you!" Yelled Arya.

"Damn! WHAT!!!" Screamed Murtagh, as he let go of Eragon.

"DON'T YOU WHAT ME!" shouted Arya.

" Well I did _what_ you! Whatcha gonna do about it?" said Murtagh.

"OH I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M GONNA DO ABOUT IT ALLRIGHT!!!" shouted Arya.

"Well what then?" asked Murtagh.

"…um…" said Arya

"EXACTLY!" "Next time you open that mouth of _yours _just maybe you will think, or if your lucky your scrawny, little, pathetic, brain will work!" shouted Murtagh.

" I BEG YOUR PARDON!?!" Arya shouted.

"YOU HEARD ME!!!" screamed Murtagh.

"Oh! OOOHHH!!! YOU ARE IN FOR IT NOW!" screamed Arya.

"Oh, help me. I'm so scared. Oh, I'm gonna die. A little girl wants to beat me up." Murtagh said, imitating the voice of a five year old.

"Boy you can't ever get a clue in your mind can you!' shouted Arya while climbing the stairs.

"Well no I can't! I GUESS I'M JUST TOO DUMB ENOUGH TO GET A S-I-N-G-L-E H-I-N-T OF SMARTNESS!" screamed Murtagh.

Arya started laughing.

"Hey! What are you laughing abo-" said Murtagh, but was cut off by Arya who went in a sprint from where she was and tackled Murtagh to the ground.

…_**Meanwhile In the background…**_

**Eragon:**Wondering what would happen if he married Arya. Also wondering why he loved her so much. And what's for dinner…………..

**Oromis:**…….I want something to drink…….yummy……

**Vanir:**These people have some serious issues…

**Roran:**Why am I here again?

"Alright! I'm out of here damn it!" shouted a bruised Murtagh, finally out of Arya's grip and slamming the door shut.

"Oh you better run! REMEMBER IF I SEE YOU EVER AGAIN, I'LL HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER SITTING HERE WAITING FOR YOU!!!" Arya screamed at Murtagh, out the window.

…_**To Be Continued…**_


End file.
